Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Table Talk


Dinner is ready.  Come to the table.  Did you wash your hands?  Go wash your hands.  What are you doing in there?  Did you wash your hands?  Come to the table.  Why are you dripping?  Go back and dry your hands.  What are you doing in there?  Come to the table.  Sit down.

Get your head above the table.  Take a bite.  Get your chin off the table.  Take another bite.  Watch out for your drink.  Sit down.  Use your fork.  Yes, the tooth fairy came to see your sister.  Yes, the tooth fairy likes cauliflower.  Stop making that buzzing sound.  Take a bite.

Would you like more milk?  Take a bite while I'm getting your milk.  Sit down or you're not getting your milk.  Watch out or you'll spill your milk.  Take a bite.  Sit down.  Yes, those are garbanzo beans.  No, that's not lint in your couscous.  Stop pounding on the chair.  Sit down.  Take a bite.  If you can't scoop it up just use your hands.  Yes, you have to use a fork.  Watch out for your milk.  Why don't you just move your milk.  Take a bite.  No, I promise that's not lint in your couscous.  Please move your milk.  Yes, Christmas is coming up.  Please stop making that buzzing sound.  Sit down.  How about three more bites?  You want to take five more?  Perfect.  Take a bite.  Watch out for your milk.  Just use your fork to get the "lint" out of your couscous.  Take a bite.  Sit down.  Today is Tuesday.  Thanksgiving is on a Thursday.  No, tomorrow is not Tuesday. 

Yes, this is dinner.  Take two more bites.  Good job on your bites.  I'm glad you didn't spill your milk.  Yes, couscous is good.  Don't forget to clear your plate.  Get out from under the table.  Thank you for grabbing that spoon we dropped under the table.  Thank you for clearing your plate.  Stop.  Don't move until I wipe your hands.  Your face.  Why is the dog licking your leg?  Your rear end has couscous on it.  Stand still while I wipe you.  Yes, we're finished. 

Let's go read a book.

2 comments:

  1. Wait, were you at my house last night? Every night? Thanks for the laugh of recognition. We are never alone.

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  2. love it! sounds like our house, but by the time it is over, I have barely eaten a bite!

    ReplyDelete