Monday, February 14, 2011
I'm Not In Love With You
I was there once. I was walking along one day and I just fell in. Totally not watching where I was going. Fell right in. I was in over my head. And he was in there with me. The right one. I'm pretty sure he fell before I did. Fell in over his head and was just waiting there for me. It was wonderful. I was in Love. Deep.
But I'm not anymore.
I'm out of that gooey, enveloping, mind-numbing, keeps you from acting rationally, clouds your vision Love. I used my muscles to climb out of that sweet muck awhile back and now I'm moving on to the -ing part of this Love I've chosen. If it's love...and you've decided you're in it with the right person...then after awhile you quit floundering around together and get some skills. Some skills that help you live together in places other than Love. In places like Stressful. And Parenthood. And Tragedy. And Joy. And Out of Town on Business. And Split Level Houses in The Middle with laundry to do and weeds to pull and dishes to wash and, and, and...the -ing of it is how you survive.
When you decide that it's forever, Love changes from this thing you're in, to this thing you do. Loving. Loving him means I'm doing something. I'm giving back. Shifting to compensate. Celebrating the victories. Towing the line. Taking the time. Telling him. Showing him. Needing him. It's the doing that gives Love power. Strength. Makes it last.
When you've been at it for awhile, you can't give Love anymore. You can't be in Love. You have to do Love.
My doing is my being. My being is loving you. Happy Valentine's Day Love.