Thursday, February 15, 2018

What I know now....

After 19 married Valentine’s Days I know...

February 14 is a date on the calendar. It doesn’t always mean an actual date. A romantic thing on March 27th or August 11th or December 9th can be just as meaningful. 

Being vulnerable with your partner is harder than sleepless nights with a newborn, vacations with your in laws and tax preparation all rolled into one. But it’s worth it. 

Negotiating life whilst considering the needs of a partner is hard. Being alone is hard. Choose your hard. 

If your laundry basket has a lid, the dirty socks will be piled on top of the lid. 

It’s important to have people in your life.  Some you share. Some just for you. Be ok with that. 

If you ever hear someone remark about a dessert being better than’s because they’ve never had great sex. 

To be thrilled for your partner when they delight in what thrills them. Even if it doesn’t thrill you. 

The Eagles are great and all...but love will NOT keep you alive. You need oxygen. And vegetables. And exercise. And batteries in the smoke detectors. And good conversations about how to make those things happen. THAT will keep you alive. 

If you’re lucky, in the pursuit of what you want, you wind up getting what you need. 

Love languages are not bullshit.  Be bilingual. Rosetta Stone that shit if you have to. But learn another language besides your own. 

Be ready for the fact that the person you married will change and grow and become a new version of themselves. Be ready to adjust. You are equipped for this. You always have been. 

Pickles, mustard and olives can be polarizing forces in a marriage. They are toppings. Don’t let them be foundations. 

Balance isn’t about making things even. Balance is being able to lean way over to one side without falling over.  

Show up for things. Literally. Figuratively. In the cold. In the heat. With a good attitude. With a bad attitude. Put your whole self in. 

Always be ready with a speech when it’s time to toast your partner and never forget to say goodnight. 

Find something to do together. Besides kids.  In spite of kids. 

Know that we are all are doing the best we can. With what we have. In the moment we have it. Our lives will be made up of moments. Some of them matter more than others. 

Forgiveness is as much for you as it is for the one who receives it. 

Life is a ride you didn’t ask to be on.  Up. Down. Hard left and upside down. It’s better with someone in the seat next to you.