37 from 37

 We inhabit ourselves without valuing ourselves,

unable to see that here, now

this very moment is sacred;

but once it's gone-

its value is incontestable.

-Joyce Carol Oates

I sat at the counter this morning, gripping my coffee, hunched over my iPad digesting the headlines, playing Words with my friends, reading the newest set of emails....blah blah blah.  Out of nowhere I had the most amazing realization and had to jump up and run over to the calendar close up the celebrity newsfeed on my device and open up my Google calendar to double check my calculations.

Today is 37 days from my 37th birthday!  Yes.  I noticed it in time.  It would not have been nearly as cool to come to this realization tomorrow.  37 days from 37.  Nice.

37 has become an important number for me recently.  One of my favorite authors, Patti Digh asks the question, "What would you do if you only had 37 days to live?" 

I have no intention of expiring in 37 days...but what if?  Hard question.  Would I pack up the girls and take them to see the world, with me?  Would I lock myself in a room and try desperately to write down everything I'd ever hoped to tell them someday?  Neither one of those feels much like me.

Inhabit the life I already have.  Yes, that's it.  Fully inhabit the life I have already worked so hard to build.  Not go live someone else's life.  I am going to spend the next 37 days working on living fully in my life. 

37 days.  I can't believe I noticed it today.  Today.