Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Super Powers

"You're amazing!" he said to me.  "Moms must have super powers!"  Yes.  Thank you.  Moms DO have super powers, just not the ones he was thinking of. 

Super Power #1- The ability to NOT hear
The thumping tells you they're jumping on the bed, which they are NOT supposed to do, but they have been happily playing together for more than 20 minutes so you don't hear it.

Super Power #2- The ability to NOT see
Standing just around the corner you witness the little one standing up to the big one and belting her in the stomach after a toy is ripped from her grasp.  Nobody screams.  Nobody cries.  The big one gets what's coming and the little one gets her toy back.  You didn't see it.

Super Power #3- The ability to NOT feel
You don't feel the elbow in you neck when they come in at full speed for a crushing toddler hug.  You take the hug.  That tiny pause in the go go go lifestyle of a toddler.  They're wonderful.  You don't feel the gross wet spot leftover from open mouth baby kisses.  That little face coming in for love.  It's wonderful.  You don't feel it.  

Super Power #4- The ability to move VERY slow
In a classic foot race between you and the three year old who is running her little heart out, you convincingly run so slow that she is able to beat you over and over and over again.  The giggles of glee are too good to be missed and you can't outrun her.  You are too slow.

Super Power #5- The ability to remove stains, smudges and crust with only the power of your spit.
The cleansing powers of "Mom Spit" are truly miraculous.  Enough said.

Super Power #6- The ability to NOT remember
No matter what happened before the nap, or yesterday, or 5 minutes ago, moms have the amazing ability to forget about all of it and begin again.

All that being said, Mom Kryptonite can take many forms; exhaustion, being "on hold" with the cable company, puking kids, traveling spouses, in-laws, PMS, and several others.  Mom Kryptonite takes different forms and can weaken all powers instantly causing pain and suffering to all.

Yes, moms DO have super powers.  But I think I'll skip the skimpy outfit and just wear the cape!  Thank you very much!!!

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