Sunday, February 14, 2010

He Let Me Down...Again.

Sometimes you're just sitting there and a song comes on (go here if you need to hear it, but it's not necessary for what I need to say)...and it makes you think...and then you well up just a bit in the middle, of course...and then you realize something...

Loving me is a lot of work.  I'm prone to jumping to conclusions, fits of screaming, flying off the handle, leaping without looking, rushing in, living on the verge...blahblahblah...a lot of work.  He's amazing at the job of loving me though, this man I share my life with.  He never fails to let me down...just when I need him to.

I didn't know I needed him to be my parachute.  He knew.  Nearly 15 years ago he looked right into me one day and told me he knew how I was and that he was exactly what I was looking for.  He knew it was going to be a ride.  He knew he was looking for that kind of ride.  He knew he had wide enough arms to open up and let me down.  He knew.  

His hand in all of this is amazing because he doesn't stop me from jumping.  He just lets me down.  Slower.  With his words, and his patience, and his confidence and the joy I know he gets from the ride sometimes, he lets me down and makes the descent go slower.  Slower so I can take time to get my bearings when I'm frantic.  Slower so I can get a good look at the view when I'm too busy to see how beautiful it all is.  Slower so I can relax into it and not have to brace for impact.  Slower so I can have time to right myself before the ground rushes up to meet me.  Slower so I'm not going to crash and when I do finally come down I can hit the ground running.

I'm likely to keep jumping.  That's how I am.  And he knows it.  And he loves me still.  And when I'm not still, he'll open up and be my parachute so he can let me down again.

Thank you Love.  Happy Valentine's Day.


  1. i can't tell you how glad i am to have read this today. i'm off to edit my post so i can link to it...

  2. This is so lovely, Nancy. What a wonderful partnership you have--and it really does sound like a loving partnership. Thank you for sharing this!!