Tuesday, September 20, 2011

My...What Big Eyes You Have

They are actually not his eyes at all.  They are just spots on his flesh meant to look like eyes in an attempt to scare away children with sticks predators.  This tiny crawler will one day become a swallowtail butterfly, but for now he just goes about the business of trying to get filled up with enough leaf and when you look at him, you see eyes.  But that's what you're supposed to see.  When you look closely you can see his real eyes...but you have to get really close.  He's busy and he needs you to think he's fierce.  But he's so fragile.

I do this.  I wear an outer shell that looks very much like something it is not.  Just like that swallowtail, my exterior is also meant to scare away children with sticks predators.  My outward appearance says 'I've totally got this all handled' and 'managing my life is such a cinch'.  On the outside you see calm and balanced and tall. (It's funny to me how people always think I'm tall.  I'm only 5'6".  I think tall is what I want you to see, so I wear tall shoes and a tall personality.  But I'm not tall.)   I'm just going about the difficult business of managing two jobs and three children and an extremely busy husband.  I'm just trying to get filled with enough sleep and exercise and spaciousness and peace so I can make it through the day.  I'm busy and sometimes I need you to think that I'm fierce.  But I'm so fragile.

We all do this.  We all wear things on our outsides that are not what they seem.  We are all just going about the business of getting filled up.  But when we let people get close, they can see the real parts.  The parts that are what they seem to be.  And that is amazing.

No comments:

Post a Comment